Past couple of weeks have been downright exhausting. My Mother had surgery on November 29th; total knee replacement. It has been a challenge to say the least, and I will spare you the details. I kinda giggle to myself as I write this, because in the details, there are wildly hilarious moments and my sides hurt from laughing so hard. At some points and there are moments where there have been times I’ve wanted to scream, cry, and shout. I’ve learned something this week. I’ve learned that usually during the most insane moments of your life, ya know when everything is on pause for a family member to heal, when you lose your job of eighteen years, when you get the phone call that your loved one has passed on, you know these moments we all do. It is these moments that are small in time, but the crescendo in a symphony. They are fast and intense and full of drama.
These mini moments don’t define us, these moments refine us.
They come out of nowhere like a hundred mile an hour fastball. We ultimately swing at and frustratingly,and miserably strike out. That has been me for the last two weeks. If you can imagine me ever trying to hit a baseball (insert hysterical laughter here). I thought about that for a second I thought about myself watching my own children play sports and, wanting them to knock that ball silly and run home. Not to make me proud, but to show them that they are awesome even if the don’t hit the ball “outta the park.”
Sometimes we just need to know that even if we strike out due to frustration, anxiety, grief, and failure. We have a Father in the heavenly bleachers cheering furiously for us to hit that ball outta the park and if we don’t He still will be cheering just as loud. I’m learning He doesn’t care about how far it goes or how awesome the crowd cheers. He only cares that no matter what I don’t quit. I’m learning when I do strike out, and I am defeated. He is still cheering but, as any parent does He puts together the perfect game plan for PRACTICE. What I’m learning He is putting me in incredibly challenging and chaotic situations and extremely impossible odds just to challenge, strengthen me and mold into a home run hitter and, outfield player. I am learning that to do what He wants I need to learn how to play in the batter’s box and as the outfielder. I need to get to slide, to run like a deer, to stay on base, to be aware of the game but, keep my focus on the goal, I need to learn how to throw the Word of God correctly, and I need to find out how to catch it by listening and spending time with Him. I have to know the object of the game is endurance; that is making it to home plate. I need my forehead to be as strong as flint so, I can run with champions. I need to learn teamwork and wait for the teammates and team He drafts me into. I need to learn how to be ready and, how to catch ( listen) and, learn how to throw a ball (Word of God) so, I can get the other team out and us in so we can win souls for the kingdom of God. I need to learn how to lean into the pressure instead of resisting pressure and allowing the pressure to slow me down and allowing it to take me out of the game. I am learning how to lean; when I lift my eyes up and I’m coming off of third base leaning into a steep curve and, then running with all I have. I will see and hear the loudest voice saying “Run! Kim, Run!” “”Run! Home!”
No matter what game we are facing, we can find strength in the leaning and not the ability
We are never without leadership even when our team has given up or, the other team has a six-point lead, and we are in the bottom of the ninth; exhausted and beat up with no hope in sight. We always have our Father in the stands seeing, knowing, and understanding the odds but whispering ” Just lean in, then mount up with wings like eagles and soar!” with the biggest, widest, smile on His glorious face.
So, when you feel like there is no hope, no team, no coach, don’t worry your Father is in the stands giving you a look to just lean. Trust that! That my friend’s is the perfect and safest place to be in the whole game. Don’t be afraid just keep running!
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